[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
i guess all those years that whole face north, ass south ordeal when I thought it was my sign to a trigger of a seizure was actually my father prayer for me. When it turns out in reality that all the power went to him. See, theres a difference with a female who has brain damage and one who doesnt I thought it it was of me getting a trigger of a seizure when really it was my love going to waste. The fact of the matter is I have not and DONT plan on messing with anybody. It’s been almost 2 years. it is difficult to be doing a 100 point essay and a 100 point presentation/service learning project. my house is my heart. it’s interesting to find out things you didnt know about yourself when you were younger. all i know is that im holding myself together cause if i wasnt going up, i would get no where. this is not about pleasing doctors or paresnts or whatever. this is about me myself and i. the healthy and right way. if its done alone then i know i got the strenthg to do it alone because i have been single for 23 years. love will find me when its ready. for everybody who wants to make fun of me, enjoy it. all i know is is that i got the strenth to be bullied for so many years and so many procedures. i can do this. no sex. no drugs. no alcohol. straight up.i just know that its jesus who saves. loves. most of all who i want to love and hold at night for him to fall asleep. anyways just wanted to make small talk. back to work.
Thank you jesus christ for waking me up. Butterflies cant see their wings. They cant see how beautiful they are, but everyone else can. People are like that.
Christianity is not about just following rules. It’s about falling in love with the Guy who wrote the rules.
everytime i read this book words of my father speak to me. scrape after scrape. thought after thought. memory after memory. any women who can and will say yes to god is a women who is not afraid to admit her weaknesses. i have a few different weaknesses. i have never had a boyfriend. i am 23 and just learning who christ is. i have a medical condition called tuberous sclerosis complex that is a rare genetic condition that causes growths in the heart, eyes, lungs, brain, liver, kidneys, and on my face. i have had multitude of facial surgeries and 3 kidney surgeries. i also have small tiny patches of my skin that have no pigment and will never get tan. they show up as white spots if i am tan. i have to watch what i eat because if i dont it could contribute to helping the growths grow in my kidneys. i cant drink alcohol (well i can but very little) and i dont do drugs. i consider the doctor, any, that they are the devil. prior to where im at now, i was in a nursing assistant school but didnt last because i found out i had to have two kidney surgeries. i also had a job but had to resign from that because of the surgeries. i am the baby to a family of four. all of us are in criminal justice. thats how my parents initially met. in the last few paages of this book, it describes being “radically obedient” to god. the first vision i got when i read that was hiking in the grand canyon on a path that is probably no wider than your leg at some points of it. i climbed halfway down the grand canyon and i climbed out of it. Although it may not matter now, I want to thank “my ex” from the bottom of my heart because unlike me, he has experience in relationships and I do not. Although, what I have experience in such as things outside of sex like rock climbing or things like that he may not have experience in. Regardless, either way, I just want to thank him from the bottom of my heart if he reads this. I have not ever had chances where I could speak with initiative. For it was honestly not all of me that what killed everything in the first place. IT was finding out that I had to have 2 kidney surgeries; one right after the other that what killed it followed with having to move.
Thank you and God Bless, you know who you are for helping me back up.
i am reading some amazing christianity books. i saw an interesting post and it was christianity is about falling in love with the boy who made the rules. now that makes sense. i just do not like waking up in the middle of the night having a seizure and have him on my mind and be deathly afraid of everything around me for 30 seconds to a minute. i feel like my heart goes hard for that thirty seconds even though it doesnt. :-( epilepsy and all its quirks. anyways goodnight tumblr.
sometimes i think too hard. then it seems like when people read what you say they get this entire misinterpretation of what you mean invthe first place. ive only ever cared about one guy beyond friendship and he doesnt talk to me because of me and the fact i am brain damage from epilepsy. its amazing how far you’ll go for someone and then they get this entire misinterpretation simply because you are extremely shy. i miss him. i like to call it the invisible flame.
majority of females do not know that the type of men you should choose are the ones who choose christ over you. just like majority of females dont understand that when stated in the bible about being rich it is not meant to be full of money it is meant to be rich in spirit.
sometimes i just like to be alone. with my teddybear and bible. definitely enjoying picking out my favorite verses..
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
No one, and I mean no one deserves this.
don’t care if your a bieber, hipster, one direction, kardashian, janoskian blog. you all need to watch this and reblog it
this video deserves a billion notes so please stop scrolling, watch and reblog !
This should be on every blog. No one deserves this. I seriously cried, breaks my heart this goes on
If you don’t reblog this, you have no heart. NO ONE should have to go through extreme bullying.
I’ve been bullied mostly my whole life, and this commercial brings tears to my eyes every time I see it.
last monday i was talking to my neurologist and i had to have an eeg done. i did not know that until last monday between the left side and the right side of the brain, the side of the brain that has damage on it is my left side. in other news i amm happy to have passed my corrections final :D i feel better having to be asleep in his wings. i know she likes to see him happy again.
Reality>Falsity
privacy>no privacy
Dear God,
It’s so nice being able to hear my father’s voice again. Despite the fact that I have had rough times in my life, I have gotten thru them. It may have taken me some time but I did. I am a very shy & gentle person on the down low. I am used to it. It is the way my childhood was.
Given the fact that my father granted me with opportunities to meet celebrities and presidents and teach me to not do drugs and to this day I still say no and will say no even to cigarettes. I do have brain damage caused by a medical condition so I get my share of “oh look at her!” stuff but overall I need to keep going. Which is why I wanted someone who I felt was special and/or worth the suffering even though I don’t talk to him anymore. I just wish I could balance out my brain given the fact that it has been my father that I have only known who has had love for me I just had to learn it from an indirect way.
One of the things I know it is a struggle for is for Libra’s to be able to word their emotions in a straight and forward way because they rather do it by actions.
This person I have handed over to god I did for that reason and walked out of the situation differently because I want him to see that the devil doesn’t last forever and god overpowers it and in this case that happened because of the chemistry that exists still to this day even though he may not believe it. For he may believe that my ego divided into guys when actually for the past month I have been volunteering at 3 places: 2 being shelters for abuse of woman and the other for mentally and/or physically handicapped people. Alongside that I am in school and working. Still single and keep to myself and build my privacy back up because I value that over anything, even though my fellow friend may not think so.
I wrote this because I want clarification that you don’t know who your alive for until you know who you would die for is a real statement.
All those years I wondered what that awkward feeling was towards my father that gave me that adrenaline rush along with the given fact he was a cop before I was even born. I have the brain of one :-p j/k but it obviously runs in my blood.
I am a person of feelings just like you and this is me speaking to you that people will surprise you and this is me surprising you with the given fact that since you didn’t know which way I went, up or down; I went your way.
I love people and not things. that’s the difference.
